Breakfast with Sharks Read online

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  SECTION 530: ALTERNATIVE EMPLOYMENT— THE JOB-JOB

  Your Five-Year Plan for Success As a Hollywood Screenwriter

  Potential Jobs to Sustain You During Years 1–4

  Script Reader

  Temping

  Writer’s Assistant

  Film Editor’s Assistant

  Outside the Industry (Doesn’t Have to Mean Starbucks, But It Can)

  EXTRA CREDIT READING:

  The First Time I Got Paid for It: Writers’ Tales from the Hollywood Trenches by Laura J. Shapiro (editor) and Peter Lefcourt (editor)

  When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.

  —LEO BURNETT

  In Hollywood, often you cannot escape the feeling that you are floating. Not floating in that transcendental, detached, Zen-state sense, but floating as if you have broken from moorings that give you a fixed place in society, floating like a wayward balloon in the stratosphere where the air is getting thinner and thinner. You’ll receive well-meaning phone calls from family and friends and be told in the course of a conversation that Joe Blow, who couldn’t carry your academic load in college, just made partner at his firm and has bought a house in the Hamptons. Such feelings are exacerbated when you are also faced with financial difficulties. Living in Hollywood is expensive. Meanwhile, putting pressure on your chosen craft to perform in a financial sense (sell this project today, or I lose my lease and am out on the street and living in a Santa Monica drainage ditch) creates a desperate mindset and doesn’t foster creativity.

  So let’s further explore my aforementioned five-year plan for success, as well as various “job-jobs” to pay the bills while waiting to be discovered by Hollywood.

  My First Job-Job

  The financial pickings were mighty lean when I first arrived here. Sure, producers were interested in my work; however, the payments they offered barely covered my phone bill. Being ambitious and undeterred, I said to myself, “Oh, I’ll take my $500 options and $5,000 assignment credits and do something that no one else with an advanced degree and a few hard-fought credits has thought of—I’ll teach! Wahoo!” So I dutifully sent out my CV, writing samples and nothing happened. Nothing. Very soon I learned the sad, awful truth that every single writer with an advanced degree and a few credits has thought of that exact same course of action. Fast-forward to a year and a half later when I received a call from the coveted UCLA Extension Program. During the interview, I learned that the university had a variety of off-campus certificate programs beyond those listed in the glossy catalog. A week passed before I received a call from the California Institute for Men. “I’m not familiar with that university,” I admitted. “Actually we’re the Men’s Prison in Chino. We have an opening in our education unit’s writing program,” said the EDU director. Despite some initial apprehension resulting from a misadventure en route to the interview when my car broke down in gang territory and had to be pushed uphill toward a strip club in searing 100-degree heat, the experience proved extremely rewarding on both a personal and creative level. I kept that teaching position for two and a half years, until I received my first studio assignment at Miramax.

  Other Writers’ First Jobs

  A friend of mine lived above a mortuary where he paid a very low rent in exchange for assisting with the transport of bodies into the mortuary’s embalming facility.

  Another friend worked as a manager of the graveyard shift of a Kinko’s. He says that flexibility of schedule and the ability to make mass copies of his scripts was the main draw. The downside was the often bizarre nature of the clientele in the wee hours of the night.

  A TV writer/producer I know had been a university professor in Spain, when he became obsessed with the idea of coming to Hollywood. Unfortunately, his English skills were extremely limited and he struggled to find work. Desperation drove him to work at McDonald’s, where he was assigned to the drive-through window. One week later he accepted a job offer writing a Spanish-language program for an Italian TV director who spoke no English (the American producer assumed that Spanish and Italian were “close enough” for the two men to communicate together). In a single day the writer literally went from earning the minimum wage of $6.50 an hour to $2,500 a week.

  Not long ago, I heard about a writer who had his first breakthrough after eight years of trying. That’s pretty much my definition of patience, but I’m not surprised that it took so long. Few writers are one-stop shopping, which means equally adept at writing in all genres and handling notes from directors, producers, executives, and actors, skillful at creating fascinating, fleshed-out characters, ironclad structure, and polished dialogue. Developing your voice to overcome deficiencies in other areas, as well as acquiring business savvy, takes a while. Simply put, the time element needed to find one’s niche in no way reflects on a writer’s ability. My own Big Break, a studio assignment, came four years, nine months, and two days after my arrival in L.A. Before the Big Break, I had four assignments and options ranging from $500 to $5,000 and a bevy of near-misses.

  YOUR FIVE-YEAR PLAN FOR SUCCESS AS A HOLLYWOOD SCREENWRITER

  Since your time is not open-ended, it’s not enough to say to yourself, “Today’s the day!” when setting your career course. Time limits should be set for attaining tangible goals. Producer Joel Silver (Matrix, Die Hard) personally delivering a Porsche Boxster filled with hundred-dollar bills in exchange for your writing services isn’t a tangible five-year goal. Writers need to invest some brain cells into “what if x doesn’t happen?” scenarios, because “instant careers” that don’t happen instantly can take tolls on lives and relationships. Note that your long-term plan shouldn’t put undue pressure on the actual writing. Early on, my girlfriend, who later became my fiancée, and I agreed on two things: To get married despite her knowing what I was attempting to do for a living (claiming to be a secret agent will only work for just so long); and to set a five-year time clock for a certain level of progress (a sustainable career with a year to two years’ worth of projects in the pipeline), which would be discussed and evaluated quarterly or at least every six months.

  What follows is a sample five-year Action Plan:

  YEAR ONE

  Action:

  Set aside $2,500 in order to relocate to Hollywood, or $750 (if you choose to stay where you are outside of Southern California) to set up meetings and visit Hollywood for two weeks.

  Goal:

  Complete two polished screenplays that can serve as strong writing samples.

  Caution:

  Ninety percent of writing in Hollywood is rewriting. Many writers go from first draft to another first draft thinking that the next half-cooked but “brilliant” idea can be the ticket for success. Thus they fail to learn how to rewrite and strengthen existing material. One of my own projects, Mea Culpa, has been both optioned and sold by two different companies. I have written more than a dozen different drafts during a five-year period. Use your polished sample scripts as writing samples to introduce yourself to producers and directors.

  YEAR TWO

  Action:

  Place well—quarter-finalist or better—in major writing competitions like the Nicholl Fellowship, Chesterfield, Sundance, Disney, Christopher Columbus, Austin, and Worldfest. If you do, agents and producers will seek you out, or be willing to read your work.

  Goal:

  Land an option or assignment of at least $1,000.

  Caution:

  Agents generally like to see two strong writing samples. If you skip Year One groundwork, you put yourself under pressure to rush completion of a second script, which will almost certainly turn out “green, or not ready for the marketplace.” Often that will end the agent’s interest in you. If, however, you have two strong samples, then the agent may sign you, or at least take you on as a pocket client. This agent may begin sending you out on meet-and-greet meetings where you may pitch your new projects, as well as pitch your take on availabl
e assignments.

  YEAR THREE

  Action:

  Option one of your scripts and land a production company assignment in the same year.

  Take a cable or straight-to-video assignment.

  Have a spec go out wide (this occurs when your agent gets behind the marketing of your spec and sends the script to all potential buyers throughout the industry while stipulating a deadline for all offers).

  Begin taking some high-profile meetings with gatekeepers and other key decision-makers. For example, for me, a story meeting with actor Jim Gandolfini was an important signpost.

  Goal:

  Your work should garner interest from directors.

  Be able to answer the standard question “What are you working on?” with a list of projects you have in various stages of development.

  Caution:

  Since there is no standard-length option, the amount of time specified on your option contract can range from as little as three months to as long as two years, and will be up for negotiation. Weigh the length of the option period against the producer’s credits and the amount of money offered. In general, the less money offered, the smaller the producer’s actual commitment to the project. Beware of tying up and removing your promising project from the marketplace for too long.

  YEAR FOUR

  Action:

  Land an assignment or sell a script that is lucrative enough ($10,000 or above) to sustain you for three months.

  Have enough projects to keep you writing for the next twelve months.

  Goal:

  See one of your projects made into a movie. If you haven’t, consider writing and directing a short film (no longer than fifteen minutes) that can be shot on digital video.

  Caution:

  As well as a first sale or lucrative option or assignment, you may have an agent and/or manager representing you by this time, but beware of entitlement and complacency. Your agent takes only 10 percent of the money you earn, which essentially means that you are responsible for the other 90 percent. Don’t count on someone else to ensure the success of your career.

  YEAR FIVE

  Action:

  Land a studio assignment or sell a script that is lucrative enough to sustain you for one year.

  Have at least six spec scripts that are in polished condition.

  Have at least two years of your own projects in various stages of development.

  Goal:

  Sell a script off of a pitch.

  Caution:

  Continue to write your own personal projects on the side. Many working writers opt for the perceived easier money and easier task of assignment writing and neglect spec-writing stories that are truly their own.

  Quit . . .

  only when both the writing and marketing of your material processes are no longer fun

  only when you can no longer financially sustain your dream

  Every working writer will also tell you that even when success does come, you must still be patient. Production company deals sometimes collapse in business affairs offices. Even when they don’t, contract negotiations, usually conducted by understaffed, backed-up legal affairs departments, take a very long time, especially in the summer, when everyone is on vacation. An accounting department can add another two to three weeks to the process. So before you quit your current Amway gig, commit the following to memory: Sell today, collect the first check of your step deal (usually 15 percent to 40 percent of the contract) two to five months from now. Further, according to the latest WGA figures, the average working Guild member writer makes about $80,000 a year. That’s a far cry from the millions of dollars the studios sometimes pay out, of which we all dream. In other words, for most of us, screenwriting is a firmly middle-class endeavor—especially after factoring in federal, state, and city licensing board taxes; personal and business expenses; and agent, manager, and lawyer fees. While 40 percent of any given Guild contract is still a sizable chunk of loot, no one will mistake you for Bill Gates any time soon. George Jefferson, maybe.

  POTENTIAL JOBS TO SUSTAIN YOU DURING YEARS 1–4

  SCRIPT READER

  If you want a crack at the Big Show and come to town, you must decide whether you want to be a heartbeat away from the people to whom you will inevitably sell your North by Northwest Air project. Many writers take jobs as assistants to producers and studio executives, while others work as readers. Coverage consists of two pages of synopsis and one page of comment, followed by a recommendation to “consider” or “pass.” Readers cover from six to ten scripts per week, with production companies and studios paying $50–$60 per read. The workload often ebbs and flows depending on the season (August is dead, September is busy). A flexible schedule is the main benefit. On a personal note, I wrote coverage for a short time, but found the job psychically draining. The quality of 90 percent of the material submitted is troublesome. If you decide you might like this work, there are several books available on the subject. Also, you can gain experience by writing sample coverage of friends’ screenplays or of scripts that you buy from Script City. Turnaround for a coverage is usually one day, so you will have to train yourself to read and write quickly.

  TEMPING

  Temp agencies can get you access to places where you might not otherwise be invited. But you’ll need to know how to type beyond the hunt-and-peck method, and be able to handle a phone system. Usually, you’ll be subbing for an assistant to an exec or a producer, someone who is away on vacation. Under no circumstances should you try to pitch your screenplays or drop a package of your work on someone’s desk. Temping is a good opportunity for networking and making contacts, catching a worm’s-eye view of the process, and building up your Rolodex. Check under personnel services and temp agencies in the Yellow Pages to find available positions.

  WRITER’S ASSISTANT

  Duties here run the gambit from errands to research, from typing notes to editing scripts, from setting meetings to returning calls. Successful writers often employ an entire staff. Most such opportunities are in the television industry and rare in the film industry, but do exist here as well.

  The major benefit of this job is that if you continue to write on the side, the writer who pays your salary may take you under his or her wing, and offer to look at your work. Use your Hollywood Creative Directory to locate and query writers with production companies, as well as writer/producers and writer/directors, who are more likely to need assistance. You can enhance your chances by offering your services as an intern.

  FILM EDITOR’S ASSISTANT

  Editors don’t really splice film anymore. Computers do that particularly arduous task. However, jobs abound for assistant editors whose primary task is to organize footage for the more senior staff. It’s very good experience to learn more about how certain artistic and practical choices are made, how scenes are composed and stories told. Film school or tech programs like those offered by places like Columbia College and the Los Angeles Film School are where you’ll learn basic proficiency with the two industry-standard editing applications, Final Cut Pro and Avid. For jobs, check out filmstaff.com for daily postings. Listings also appear in directories like The Hollywood Reporter Blu-BookProduction Directory, (available by calling 323–525–2150, or at http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr/thrblu/letter.jsp), or LA 411 (phone 323–4600–6304, or www.la411.com on the Web). You can also scan the trades, like Variety and The Hollywood Reporter, for lists and contact info for films in postproduction.

  OUTSIDE THE INDUSTRY (DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN STARBUCKS, BUT IT CAN)

  Of course, you may opt to avoid the white noise of industry business and concentrate solely on your own work. You then will need to look outside the industry for the means to pay the bills. For example, several of my colleagues stay fresh by working in advertising on a freelance basis. Another managed the night shift at a copy shop until his big break came. Though such employment can’t be mistaken for “living the dream,” my friend’s days were free to write, hang out with colle
agues, and take the all-important industry meetings. Whether you are employed in the movie business or outside of it, the deliberate choice you make based on your personality and temperament will ensure balance and an environment to cultivate opportunity. The key is: To thine own self and the local electric company be true.

  PART SIX

  Extra Credit

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  SECTION 605: Q&A

  Discourse has been the lifeblood of my “Belly of the Beast” and “Write Back” columns at Creative Screenwriting magazine since 1997. For that reason, I have prided myself on answering every reader e-mail sent to me. The bulk of the correspondence has consisted of specific queries looking for answers or advice regarding practical matters concerning the movie industry. What follows are actual reader e-mails and responses culled from the more than 2,000 letters I have received to date.

  AGENTS